"He who has never failed somewhere..." Narration
Writing can be a chore sometimes.
That is to say, when you’re in the middle of some great new discovery of self, writing can be an excellent way to spend your time, but when you’re putting all of your time and energy into your dreams and goals, writing can be a chore.
When your chores aren’t getting done, though, they tend to pile up.
I do enjoy writing. I enjoy the clattering of keys as I explore this ancient form of self-expression. I enjoy the sounds of epic music playing from my computer speakers and leading me into a mindset of adventure and grandiosity. I enjoy the silent satisfaction of re-reading what I had written and considering the edits that are needed to more accurately communicate my intentions.
Above all of that, I enjoy creating.
Which is why, for the last six months, I’ve been more silent than usual in my blog-formed ramblings.
You see, I have been busy creating.
Creating the physical representation of a great vision which I have had for nearly a decade now – opening a coffee shop.
My part in that coffee shop’s life, however, is now over, and at this time in my journey I am forced to concede that the title of, “Tim Stiffler-Dean, Coffee Shop Owner” is not meant to be.
Oh well. Life goes on. The Architect returns.
A Time For Silence
Whenever a big change in life happens, it’s important to take a step back and re-evaluate everything that has lead up to this moment. While one chess piece has been knocked off the board, other pieces have already been in play, and their potential energy should not be too quickly dismissed as useless.
I am now in the process of looking at these pieces and listening to how they want me to play the game.
And so it is that I find myself silent. No decisions to announce. No big new projects to show to the public. No major life changes to settle into. Just silent observations of the world around me, and the desires within me.
Writing helps the observing eye see clearly.
I have friends whom I would love to support in their endeavors; like Sara and Aaron at Conceptopolis who are getting into the publishing game, or the many college-aged friends I have who are still running after dream careers.
I have small hobbies I should keep sharing; like spreading my love of good coffee with a chat bot, learning how to whittle wood into small trinkets and ornaments, or writing regularly on this blog.
I have relationships that I need to keep working on. I have music I want to write. I have websites that I envision building. I have passionate causes that will continue growing and moving with or without me.
I have a lot on my mind.
And so, I find myself silent.
Habits Being Formed
While I sit here, silently observing whatever is within and without, I must still make progress forward. In some direction, any direction, that will lead me away from this fixed location in time and space.
For your great reading pleasure (I know you’ve been waiting with bated breath for this moment), I give you my list of current activities. Though, if I’m being honest, this is more for me to re-read again in the future than for you to be engrossed with now.
- I’ve taken back my position working from home as the developer at KrakenPrint, a custom book printing company based in Chicago. The team there has been gracious to me in immediately offering me my old job back after my work at the coffee shop ended. I’ll be building their internal systems of communication, operations management, and customer service over the next several months, and hopefully setting the company up on a great foundation from which it can grow.
- I am staying in Nashville, TN, with my fiancé, Leah, and continuing to get to know our new community here. It’s a beautiful city with a lot of beautiful people, and I am finding that a great use of my time is exploring this place as much as possible.
- I have picked up a few books, using some old credit I had in my Amazon account, and have already started back in on my old reading habits.
- I’m going to eat healthier and at home more often. No doubt it will strengthen my relationship with Leah, but it will also strengthen my lifespan and endurance during the hard times.
- I will continue heeding some great advice from my friend, the owner of Vibe Coffee in Elizabethtown, KY, and limiting my consumption of the news and sensationalist media as much as possible. This is a hard thing to do, but I’ve found myself much more focused and clear-headed when I don’t fill my day up with the news. I’d like to keep it that way.
- I am reaching out to old friends that I’ve lost touch with and getting to know them again. Relationships are important to me, and so many people have had an influence on my life. It’s important that I become better at keeping relationships strong, no matter the time or distance apart.
Most importantly, I’m going to be writing again. A lot.
It’s not a chore if you enjoy it, right? Especially not if it helps keep the mind focused, and with an audience that can hold me accountable to my desires for continued growth in work and play.
Stay tuned for more. Thanks for sticking with me.
Photo credit: Kolby Schnelli